I’m not sure that there has ever been a time when life was gentle with me.
Literally ever.
I was forged in passion, gestated in abuse, birthed into abandonment, raised inside of cold isolation and the fire of constant provocation and immersed in the sounds of pain.
My soul chose this.
G-d chose this for me.
And your path, perhaps also forged from great pain, was also chosen for you.
It’s not a punishment. It’s an initiation.
I was built cell by cell to be the woman who walks in the world with a kind of energy , so raw and powerful it can be terrifying.
Terrifying especially that just being near it is a catalyst.
Terrifying because attempts at performance in it's presence simply fail.
Terrifying because it will strip you naked and bare.
And Perri is left holding the bag. 
Just like you are. Because we are not so dissimilar.

I can’t tell you how much of my life I wished it had been different. 
That I had been different, or rather "not" different.
I remember the moment I abandoned this wild girl for the banana republic wearing, investment banker dating girl who just wanted to be.... normal.
This energy inside me was an enormous hindrance to connection.
It left me unseen.
Such an easier path to be a gentle flowing stream, or a beautiful flower, or a wispy feather floating on the breeze...
Rather than an exploding volcano or a walking tornado or an ocean that could swallow you whole.
I wonder often if there was some other timeline where I was given a gentle life and what that would have produced. 
But it simply feels like no matter what I was coming in with star fire and I was going to burn inside this existence one way or the other.
I am the embodiment of raw chaos. 
As are the women most called to my work.
The good, the bad, the ugly and everything that it comes with.
It is a very important gift and a mega potent medicine.
It is KEY to what humanity needs right now. 
It is the RETURN of the Priestess.
And it’s an enormous burden to carry.
The price is so high, and the payoffs equally so.
The pain cataclysmic. The fruits abundant.
Chaos is just not gentle.
It’s the Force of Nature... and some of us were born to carry this in the world.
Part of my commitment is to teach others how to work with this energy.
To teach you the reality of it, how to learn from it, how to wield it.

It makes us both magnetic and equally hatable.
It’s never been different. Even the violence I experienced in the womb.
I remember a certain point of self acceptance I found inside a hard time in high school. 
What if this is how I was designed?
What if I just had to accept myself.
I am so grateful for my radical wisdom even then.

People seem to have some delusion I’m not accountable to anything.
Au contrair.
When most people make a mistake no one notices. The world makes excuses for them.
But when you are a woman dripping in Chaos, the world turns their head to watch every single misstep. 
Because your mistakes are like Tsunamis.
There are Laws inside of Creation and Destruction.
And it’s essential that if you learn them if you were born to wield her power.
I watch this fear of doing harm destroy people.
You have to be willing to make mistakes. It is the only way you learn.
AND if you do not bring forth that which is inside of you, it will destroy you.

Stop trying to be a soft, gentle, likable woman.
Become what you were born to be.
Step into your birthright and responsibility.
This is not an initiation for all women.
It is for those who hold the specific codes of CHAOS.

I’m not sure that there has ever been a time when life was gentle with me.
Literally ever.
I was forged in passion, gestated in abuse, birthed into abandonment, raised inside of cold isolation and the fire of constant provocation and immersed in the sounds of pain.
My soul chose this.
G-d chose this for me.
And your path, perhaps also forged from great pain, was also chosen for you.
It’s not a punishment. It’s an initiation.
I was built cell by cell to be the woman who walks in the world with a kind of energy , so raw and powerful it can be terrifying.
Terrifying especially that just being near it is a catalyst.
Terrifying because attempts at performance in it's presence simply fail.
Terrifying because it will strip you naked and bare.
And Perri is left holding the bag. 
Just like you are. Because we are not so dissimilar.

I can’t tell you how much of my life I wished it had been different. 
That I had been different, or rather "not" different.
I remember the moment I abandoned this wild girl for the banana republic wearing, investment banker dating girl who just wanted to be.... normal.
This energy inside me was an enormous hindrance to connection.
It left me unseen.
Such an easier path to be a gentle flowing stream, or a beautiful flower, or a wispy feather floating on the breeze...
Rather than an exploding volcano or a walking tornado or an ocean that could swallow you whole.
I wonder often if there was some other timeline where I was given a gentle life and what that would have produced. 
But it simply feels like no matter what I was coming in with star fire and I was going to burn inside this existence one way or the other.
I am the embodiment of raw chaos. 
As are the women most called to my work.
The good, the bad, the ugly and everything that it comes with.
It is a very important gift and a mega potent medicine.
It is KEY to what humanity needs right now. 
It is the RETURN of the Priestess.
And it’s an enormous burden to carry.
The price is so high, and the payoffs equally so.
The pain cataclysmic. The fruits abundant.
Chaos is just not gentle.
It’s the Force of Nature... and some of us were born to carry this in the world.
Part of my commitment is to teach others how to work with this energy.
To teach you the reality of it, how to learn from it, how to wield it.

It makes us both magnetic and equally hatable.
It’s never been different. Even the violence I experienced in the womb.
I remember a certain point of self acceptance I found inside a hard time in high school. 
What if this is how I was designed?
What if I just had to accept myself.
I am so grateful for my radical wisdom even then.

People seem to have some delusion I’m not accountable to anything.
Au contrair.
When most people make a mistake no one notices. The world makes excuses for them.
But when you are a woman dripping in Chaos, the world turns their head to watch every single misstep. 
Because your mistakes are like Tsunamis.
There are Laws inside of Creation and Destruction.
And it’s essential that if you learn them if you were born to wield her power.
I watch this fear of doing harm destroy people.
You have to be willing to make mistakes. It is the only way you learn.
AND if you do not bring forth that which is inside of you, it will destroy you.

Stop trying to be a soft, gentle, likable woman.
Become what you were born to be.
Step into your birthright and responsibility.
This is not an initiation for all women.
It is for those who hold the specific codes of CHAOS.