It was important for me to sit and remember this.

The impact.

That even when they decide they don’t like “Perri” or my style or methods or personality, I can still see the thing I was devoted to in them living in them.

In a way like parenting.

Kellen and I talk about how it’s going to be so devastating when one day Scarlet won’t remember all these small years and kids never really understand the depth of what parents do or how we love them until they have their own.

There is a natural phase when they rebel, when they may straight up not like you, when they need to go off to figure out who they are.

It hurts. And we have literally all done it.

And as a parent you just love them and leave your door open.

But what I’ve come to realize about students is as long as the thing is awake and alive within them and it’s carving their life, my job is done.

It’s really not about me.

They can hate me all they want.

But that will never put it back in the box.

You can’t turn it off.

You cannot avoid it or outrun it.

I think that’s the thing they really resent.

Having the thing wake up, being totally humbled by it, but too proud to admit they need someone to show them how to wield it.

That’s ok though, because it is the teacher ultimately.

A friend recently told me a story about how someone who read something powerful she had written.

Devoured it. And then stopped talking to her.

She eventually came back, apologized and said “I thought if I stopped talking to you, I wouldn’t have to face the way this was going to rip through my life.”

It’s funny how people fear what’s inside them so deeply they think hating another person will somehow alleviate them from responsibility for it.

I care so much about showing people how to use it and hold it and live with it because it’s just been my whole life.

Trying to figure how to BE.

Of course I created a map of the landscape that’s been lost for thousands of years.

Wouldn’t you?

Wouldn’t you want that for others?

Post lineage and the annual brewing of disdain and dissatisfaction and delusion (oh yes it’s happened after EVERY Transmission), I have taken my time to sit with how I want to respond.

These are not attendees and sometimes they are just strangers.

But like clockwork I do something massive and beautiful and they need to make sure they

use it as an opportunity to target that beautiful thing.

I know you have all been waiting.

I can feel it.

I’m going to be addressing things in a very deliberate manner soon.

Transparency and honesty have always been how I address things and I plan on doing the same here but in a stripped back and distilled way.

I have nothing to hide.

I absolutely have a ton of people who don’t like me, who I have had disagreements with, who I’ve been too harsh with, or didn’t take the time to connect around disconnection with them.

But does this shock you?

Really?

And very very few of them had an actual relationship with ME.

They had a relationship with an IDEA of me or with me in a ROLE.

Only people who needed me to be something for them are in this group of people.

I have been reviewing a ton of old videos, texts, DMs with anyone I’ve felt I had issues with.

And what I can tell you based on what I’ve seen is that people remember their feelings and not the facts.

People are totally entitled to their feelings.

But our emotional interpretations of a situation are one layer and don’t represent shared reality.

It was important for me to sit and remember this.

The impact.

That even when they decide they don’t like “Perri” or my style or methods or personality, I can still see the thing I was devoted to in them living in them.

In a way like parenting.

Kellen and I talk about how it’s going to be so devastating when one day Scarlet won’t remember all these small years and kids never really understand the depth of what parents do or how we love them until they have their own.

There is a natural phase when they rebel, when they may straight up not like you, when they need to go off to figure out who they are.

It hurts. And we have literally all done it.

And as a parent you just love them and leave your door open.

But what I’ve come to realize about students is as long as the thing is awake and alive within them and it’s carving their life, my job is done.

It’s really not about me.

They can hate me all they want.

But that will never put it back in the box.

You can’t turn it off.

You cannot avoid it or outrun it.

I think that’s the thing they really resent.

Having the thing wake up, being totally humbled by it, but too proud to admit they need someone to show them how to wield it.

That’s ok though, because it is the teacher ultimately.

A friend recently told me a story about how someone who read something powerful she had written.

Devoured it. And then stopped talking to her.

She eventually came back, apologized and said “I thought if I stopped talking to you, I wouldn’t have to face the way this was going to rip through my life.”

It’s funny how people fear what’s inside them so deeply they think hating another person will somehow alleviate them from responsibility for it.

I care so much about showing people how to use it and hold it and live with it because it’s just been my whole life.

Trying to figure how to BE.

Of course I created a map of the landscape that’s been lost for thousands of years.

Wouldn’t you?

Wouldn’t you want that for others?

Post lineage and the annual brewing of disdain and dissatisfaction and delusion (oh yes it’s happened after EVERY Transmission), I have taken my time to sit with how I want to respond.

These are not attendees and sometimes they are just strangers.

But like clockwork I do something massive and beautiful and they need to make sure they

use it as an opportunity to target that beautiful thing.

I know you have all been waiting.

I can feel it.

I’m going to be addressing things in a very deliberate manner soon.

Transparency and honesty have always been how I address things and I plan on doing the same here but in a stripped back and distilled way.

I have nothing to hide.

I absolutely have a ton of people who don’t like me, who I have had disagreements with, who I’ve been too harsh with, or didn’t take the time to connect around disconnection with them.

But does this shock you?

Really?

And very very few of them had an actual relationship with ME.

They had a relationship with an IDEA of me or with me in a ROLE.

Only people who needed me to be something for them are in this group of people.

I have been reviewing a ton of old videos, texts, DMs with anyone I’ve felt I had issues with.

And what I can tell you based on what I’ve seen is that people remember their feelings and not the facts.

People are totally entitled to their feelings.

But our emotional interpretations of a situation are one layer and don’t represent shared reality.