One of the things I have had to deeply work on in my own journey is judgement and punishment

I used to be so hard on myself

This was my conditioning

I was constantly punishing my own nature and any “mistake” because I had little to no compassion and forgiveness for my own humanity

It was cruel

It was a mirror of how I was treated as a child

And in my work I study this behavior

I study it in myself

I study it in others

Seeing patterns helps us identify what we ARE NOT not what we are

WE ARE NOT our patterns

WE ARE NOT our behavior

It helps us locate the deep pain that creates wonky behavior

We don’t do this to harm ourselves

We do it to open a pathway for self love and compassion

Having grown up being villianized and constantly gaslit as a child

I developed a practice of going over things that with a fine tooth comb

I review everything

I don’t just remember things

I look

I learn from it

It has been such a life giving practice for me because my mind will always punish me first even when there is nothing to be punished for

This is the pattern of OVER responsibility

Taking responsibility for things that are not mine

And this is how I stayed safe

If it was all my fault then it was predicable and I could control it

It is something I always have to be careful of when I review events and patterns

In pattern work there is one key ingredient that must always be present

as a student or a teacher

YOU MUST LOVE THE HUMAN BEING

This work is misused when we are not in service to the deeper thing

Or when we weaponize it

Or when we take it into a space that isn’t designated for it (like Thanksgiving Dinner)

And sometimes we do because we need to work things through

Sometimes we have to demonize something fully before we can alchemize to approve and love it

This too is part of the process

The softening process I have experienced over the years was the essential ingredient to all my transformation

The deep compassion for my pain or anything I deemed “not good”

Loving myself deeply where I was not loved unconditionally

We are never whole and fully integrated without total self love and compassion

Particularly for the little ones who drive most of the “behavior” we judge

Always.

There is no pattern work or archetype work without loving what is underneath

Many people do pattern work and punish themselves with it

And that shows them their pattern of punishment

The pattern work is not punishing

How we relate to it is

We can misuse anything

We can relate to anything in an “unhealthy” way

And the answer is usually – compassion – forgiveness – acceptance

Nothing changes without our deep love

Ever

Nothing exiled will transform

Nothing punished will transform

Punishment buries things

Hardens them

The punisher is a protector that didn’t get the memo that the war is over

May we let it rest

One of the things I have had to deeply work on in my own journey is judgement and punishment

I used to be so hard on myself

This was my conditioning

I was constantly punishing my own nature and any “mistake” because I had little to no compassion and forgiveness for my own humanity

It was cruel

It was a mirror of how I was treated as a child

And in my work I study this behavior

I study it in myself

I study it in others

Seeing patterns helps us identify what we ARE NOT not what we are

WE ARE NOT our patterns

WE ARE NOT our behavior

It helps us locate the deep pain that creates wonky behavior

We don’t do this to harm ourselves

We do it to open a pathway for self love and compassion

Having grown up being villianized and constantly gaslit as a child

I developed a practice of going over things that with a fine tooth comb

I review everything

I don’t just remember things

I look

I learn from it

It has been such a life giving practice for me because my mind will always punish me first even when there is nothing to be punished for

This is the pattern of OVER responsibility

Taking responsibility for things that are not mine

And this is how I stayed safe

If it was all my fault then it was predicable and I could control it

It is something I always have to be careful of when I review events and patterns

In pattern work there is one key ingredient that must always be present

as a student or a teacher

YOU MUST LOVE THE HUMAN BEING

This work is misused when we are not in service to the deeper thing

Or when we weaponize it

Or when we take it into a space that isn’t designated for it (like Thanksgiving Dinner)

And sometimes we do because we need to work things through

Sometimes we have to demonize something fully before we can alchemize to approve and love it

This too is part of the process

The softening process I have experienced over the years was the essential ingredient to all my transformation

The deep compassion for my pain or anything I deemed “not good”

Loving myself deeply where I was not loved unconditionally

We are never whole and fully integrated without total self love and compassion

Particularly for the little ones who drive most of the “behavior” we judge

Always.

There is no pattern work or archetype work without loving what is underneath

Many people do pattern work and punish themselves with it

And that shows them their pattern of punishment

The pattern work is not punishing

How we relate to it is

We can misuse anything

We can relate to anything in an “unhealthy” way

And the answer is usually – compassion – forgiveness – acceptance

Nothing changes without our deep love

Ever

Nothing exiled will transform

Nothing punished will transform

Punishment buries things

Hardens them

The punisher is a protector that didn’t get the memo that the war is over

May we let it rest