Let me tell you about shame.

It is paralyzing for people.

It is also at the root of many addictions.

People LOVE to feel shame.

Yes. That’s right. People LOVE to feel shame.

They do so many things just to feel it.

I remember the sting of shame I felt as a child when it was reflected to me I did something wrong.

Because the way it was reflected to me, and to so many of us, is that “I” was wrong.

A paralysis inside and a fear that something I had done had been irreparable.

The feeling of my eyes getting wider and an internal panic that I had RUINED IT.

This is the internal monitoring system that runs the lives of so many people.

This fear of “ruining it” transferred to my health.

I had paralyzing hypochondria for so many years not knowing that my fear of death was my fear of my birth.

The death of MOTHER that was intertwined with my first breath.

A primal wound woven into my cells that I had RUINED it.

That I had somehow done something wrong before I could even know what that was.

And then this deep core pattern…

Better not displease mommy again.

Because it felt like DEATH.

Releasing SHAME was one of the MOST important lessons of my spiritual journey.

When we begin to understand that we are not our mind, our personality, our behavior, our trauma – we begin to be able to unwind the lessons implanted by our soul.

Our entire culture is controlled by the puppet strings of shame.

Act this way or you will be shamed, don’t say that or your reputation will be tarnished.

You will be ridiculed, kicked out, banished.

Or worse, you will be controlled by your misdeed.

Reminded anytime you step out of line.

One of the places I worked this out was on the internet.

My SLAY practice burned all shame from my being.

It meant I could say anything I want without feeling that burn.

What liberation. Call me all the names.

What are you going to do to me?

I’ll never forget I was in a conversation once where someone said “Stop embarrassing your family.”

As a way to try to get me to stop exposing to some toxic Truth in our neighborhood.

I laughed and said “Oh honey. That doesn’t work on me.”

When you can stave off the intoxication of shame, embarrassment or humiliation…

When you can hold yourself open in that moment that you are just human and create compassion you create space for correction.

You can also examine the Truth in your mistake.

You can see that the mistake was not something to punish yourself for.

The “mistake” or the thing that caused the disconnection, was a gift of your deeper impulse to break free from how you were trying to behave properly.

Sure, there are times when we legitimately fuck up.

But that thing that causes us to “fuck up” – the Chaos – it has intelligence.

What is important is to discern “what” exactly is the Chaos fucking up

What have you committed to? Built? or attached yourself to that Chaos would need to arrive and “fuck it up”?

And notice how shame mostly returns you to your post with your tail between you legs.

Learning how to make a true and clean amends is one of the greatest gifts.

Knowing how to just immediately take responsibility for your part alleviates shame.

Yup I did that. Or if you are sorry for your impact “I am very sorry that my actions hurt you.”

No shame required.

But imagine that it isn’t about the thing you did at all.

But that the fracture was divine timing.

Like being late getting to the airport only to miss getting on a plane that crashes.

Sometimes these divine gifts come in the form of “bad” or “shameful” behavior.

And if you know how to read the energy instead of the story it was packaged in, then you will not mistake a “Get out now”.

Heartbreaking as it may be, when you finally tune into the right frequency, even what is perceived as “humiliating” is a blessing.

It is perfectly packaged to present the exact spot where groveling and self loathing would have been your prior go to.

And the hard part? They will think you withdrew from embarrassment.

But you withdrew because there was a window for you to go.

We are multi-dimensional creatures in a layered game of chess.

Our physical selves are the Pawns wrapped in an illusion.

The soul is the Queen with the foresight and ability to see through it all.

We may have been unaware of our Queen’s position, veiled from us as the small player.

Until that moment when we can see as her.

And now we can SEE. Check Mate.

And once you can see. You can’t unsee it.

Shame is a cop out.

A useless wet blanket.

It appears when your ego wants to obscure a truth from you.

When you feel shame…ask….what do I not want to see?

What don’t I want to transform?

What comfortable reality am I running back to?

Let me tell you about shame.

It is paralyzing for people.

It is also at the root of many addictions.

People LOVE to feel shame.

Yes. That’s right. People LOVE to feel shame.

They do so many things just to feel it.

I remember the sting of shame I felt as a child when it was reflected to me I did something wrong.

Because the way it was reflected to me, and to so many of us, is that “I” was wrong.

A paralysis inside and a fear that something I had done had been irreparable.

The feeling of my eyes getting wider and an internal panic that I had RUINED IT.

This is the internal monitoring system that runs the lives of so many people.

This fear of “ruining it” transferred to my health.

I had paralyzing hypochondria for so many years not knowing that my fear of death was my fear of my birth.

The death of MOTHER that was intertwined with my first breath.

A primal wound woven into my cells that I had RUINED it.

That I had somehow done something wrong before I could even know what that was.

And then this deep core pattern…

Better not displease mommy again.

Because it felt like DEATH.

Releasing SHAME was one of the MOST important lessons of my spiritual journey.

When we begin to understand that we are not our mind, our personality, our behavior, our trauma – we begin to be able to unwind the lessons implanted by our soul.

Our entire culture is controlled by the puppet strings of shame.

Act this way or you will be shamed, don’t say that or your reputation will be tarnished.

You will be ridiculed, kicked out, banished.

Or worse, you will be controlled by your misdeed.

Reminded anytime you step out of line.

One of the places I worked this out was on the internet.

My SLAY practice burned all shame from my being.

It meant I could say anything I want without feeling that burn.

What liberation. Call me all the names.

What are you going to do to me?

I’ll never forget I was in a conversation once where someone said “Stop embarrassing your family.”

As a way to try to get me to stop exposing to some toxic Truth in our neighborhood.

I laughed and said “Oh honey. That doesn’t work on me.”

When you can stave off the intoxication of shame, embarrassment or humiliation…

When you can hold yourself open in that moment that you are just human and create compassion you create space for correction.

You can also examine the Truth in your mistake.

You can see that the mistake was not something to punish yourself for.

The “mistake” or the thing that caused the disconnection, was a gift of your deeper impulse to break free from how you were trying to behave properly.

Sure, there are times when we legitimately fuck up.

But that thing that causes us to “fuck up” – the Chaos – it has intelligence.

What is important is to discern “what” exactly is the Chaos fucking up

What have you committed to? Built? or attached yourself to that Chaos would need to arrive and “fuck it up”?

And notice how shame mostly returns you to your post with your tail between you legs.

Learning how to make a true and clean amends is one of the greatest gifts.

Knowing how to just immediately take responsibility for your part alleviates shame.

Yup I did that. Or if you are sorry for your impact “I am very sorry that my actions hurt you.”

No shame required.

But imagine that it isn’t about the thing you did at all.

But that the fracture was divine timing.

Like being late getting to the airport only to miss getting on a plane that crashes.

Sometimes these divine gifts come in the form of “bad” or “shameful” behavior.

And if you know how to read the energy instead of the story it was packaged in, then you will not mistake a “Get out now”.

Heartbreaking as it may be, when you finally tune into the right frequency, even what is perceived as “humiliating” is a blessing.

It is perfectly packaged to present the exact spot where groveling and self loathing would have been your prior go to.

And the hard part? They will think you withdrew from embarrassment.

But you withdrew because there was a window for you to go.

We are multi-dimensional creatures in a layered game of chess.

Our physical selves are the Pawns wrapped in an illusion.

The soul is the Queen with the foresight and ability to see through it all.

We may have been unaware of our Queen’s position, veiled from us as the small player.

Until that moment when we can see as her.

And now we can SEE. Check Mate.

And once you can see. You can’t unsee it.

Shame is a cop out.

A useless wet blanket.

It appears when your ego wants to obscure a truth from you.

When you feel shame…ask….what do I not want to see?

What don’t I want to transform?

What comfortable reality am I running back to?