I want to speak to all the practitioners out there and discuss the very real and valid right you have to create the conditions to do your work on your terms under the conditions you need to run your spaces with self respect and care.

A woman came into my inbox asking for a partial scholarship to an event.

I was gracious to offer one and she said she still couldn’t afford it so I assumed she wasn’t coming. I then lost track of who she was.

She wrote in saying I gave her one, no name, signed the paperwork with initials, no name.

Comes to the event with initials and I red flag it immediately and ask who it is and what is the person’s name.

I felt the energy was off immediately.

In the middle of the event she starts writing in the comments.

I say in order to speak with her she needs to raise her hand and put on her video.

At which point she says she doesn’t want to be seen or recorded.

This is a problem because that’s not how I work nor is it something I’m willing to accommodate.

But we just did big work so I said she could stay until the end of the call and I would figure something out for her.

The flag of anonymity and hiding on a call tells me whether someone is in range for the work.

Based on the need to hide, I knew straight away this was out of range.

As she continued to write in the comments, I explained my inability to work with her, I told her I would need to remove her.

She didn’t like this and sent a couple of nasty emails.

When consent is lost on either side you need to stop.

This is not always ideal because it can be mid process, but you are never required to continue to carry someone inside an experience where consent no longer exists.

My team made a mistake letting her in.

I made a mistake not trusting my spidey sense when I saw her come on.

I did not make a mistake removing her from the call.

It is never a mistake to stop when you are not at a place of mutual consent.

It is not always ideal, but it’s important that you know that you are allowed to have requirements for your spaces and classes so that you can work in the conditions designed to deliver.

You are allowed to have boundaries and those boundaries are not harmful.

You are not required to make exceptions for or explain the existence of these conditions and boundaries.

You are allowed to have self respect.

You can stop if at any point.

Many people who come into transformational work want to be able to determine how you run your space or your business instead of self selecting out of environments that they don’t consent to.

So unfortunately sometimes it is on the practitioner to say “Hey, it seems you aren’t consenting to the conditions of this space/container/relationship and I need to remove you.”

A person with boundary issues will not understand this. They will think it is harmful.

But it’s more harmful to stay in a non-consensual relationship.

I hope this was helpful!

What is your relationship to boundaries of your spaces?

I want to speak to all the practitioners out there and discuss the very real and valid right you have to create the conditions to do your work on your terms under the conditions you need to run your spaces with self respect and care.

A woman came into my inbox asking for a partial scholarship to an event.

I was gracious to offer one and she said she still couldn’t afford it so I assumed she wasn’t coming. I then lost track of who she was.

She wrote in saying I gave her one, no name, signed the paperwork with initials, no name.

Comes to the event with initials and I red flag it immediately and ask who it is and what is the person’s name.

I felt the energy was off immediately.

In the middle of the event she starts writing in the comments.

I say in order to speak with her she needs to raise her hand and put on her video.

At which point she says she doesn’t want to be seen or recorded.

This is a problem because that’s not how I work nor is it something I’m willing to accommodate.

But we just did big work so I said she could stay until the end of the call and I would figure something out for her.

The flag of anonymity and hiding on a call tells me whether someone is in range for the work.

Based on the need to hide, I knew straight away this was out of range.

As she continued to write in the comments, I explained my inability to work with her, I told her I would need to remove her.

She didn’t like this and sent a couple of nasty emails.

When consent is lost on either side you need to stop.

This is not always ideal because it can be mid process, but you are never required to continue to carry someone inside an experience where consent no longer exists.

My team made a mistake letting her in.

I made a mistake not trusting my spidey sense when I saw her come on.

I did not make a mistake removing her from the call.

It is never a mistake to stop when you are not at a place of mutual consent.

It is not always ideal, but it’s important that you know that you are allowed to have requirements for your spaces and classes so that you can work in the conditions designed to deliver.

You are allowed to have boundaries and those boundaries are not harmful.

You are not required to make exceptions for or explain the existence of these conditions and boundaries.

You are allowed to have self respect.

You can stop if at any point.

Many people who come into transformational work want to be able to determine how you run your space or your business instead of self selecting out of environments that they don’t consent to.

So unfortunately sometimes it is on the practitioner to say “Hey, it seems you aren’t consenting to the conditions of this space/container/relationship and I need to remove you.”

A person with boundary issues will not understand this. They will think it is harmful.

But it’s more harmful to stay in a non-consensual relationship.

I hope this was helpful!

What is your relationship to boundaries of your spaces?