I think there is enormous distortion around the concept of friendship and it’s one that I come back to over and over again.

What is TRUE friendship and who are my TRUE friends?

But I’ve also been in inquiry about whether I even value friendship. Yes. You heard me right. I’m not sure I value friendship.

Or the version of friendship that most people are capable of is probably more accurate.

I just closed a “friendship” with a woman who I’ve been “close” with for a number of years. And for me it came down to a couple of things.

She accused another woman who I also consider a friend of copying her.

I told her that was unfounded and reflected the Truth to her.

She then decided to send me a text message while I’m on vacation that she left a program she asked for for free, left the app and proceeded to block all the women in our community and create a lot of hurt and turmoil.

As opposed to waiting until next week to have a call and discuss it face to face.

She said this was out of respect and love and to preserve our relationship.

To create drama and dump her inability to hold herself while I’m on vacation. That’s love.

I don’t care if people don’t want to be in my space but if you love and care about me you would not create drama when I’m on fucking vacation after everything I’ve been through this year. That does not show me you love me or even see what is valuable to me.

Disrespect of my energy or the space I need to care for my woman is simply a dealbreaker for me.

As I sat with it I could not even remember the last time she texted or called to just see how I was doing or feeling.

But we took her and her husband out for dinner recently for her birthday.

We have always had good conversations and I’ve had a deep respect for her commitment to her process.

There is no doubt we have love for each other.

But are we friends?

It would seem not.

What is a “friend”? How do you define it?

It’s one of those words that is so codified it can mean so many things. In fact I bet the majority of people haven’t actually sat and thought about what it means to be a friend.

Is a friend someone you know for a long time?

Is it someone you talk bullshit with?

Is it someone you spend physical in person time with?

Is it someone who is always there for you?

The people I really consider my good friends are people who are able to hold themselves and we have a genuine mutual care for one another.

These are people who it’s a pleasure to be around and I feel nourished (not depleted) in their presence.

These are people who genuinely like all the Perri parts and understand that sometimes I just want to be a human being.

The people I consider friends are ride or die loyal and understand what I value and understand what I’m available for.

And vice versa.

These aren’t people who I necessarily talk to or socialize with all the time.

But I know who they are and they know who they are.

As a teacher who holds hundreds of people hands on and thousands of people energetically , friendships have become increasingly more difficult.

There has always been a challenge in the relationships where friend and teacher straddle and where people get confused what hat I have on. It highlights the unavoidable projection of the role. But also the one way holding.

And so more and more I just show up as a teacher so there is no confusion.

I would never deny anyone the gifts of my teaching or guidance so we could remain “friends” and so many times friendships get put to the side while I serve their journey.

It’s complicated and something I need to be constantly adjusting in real time with different people.

I put aside my woman and serve as a teacher.

What is clear to me is that my life revolves around my service and that Truth is more important to me than any friendship.

I could not stay in relationship with anyone where I felt I needed to abandon something deep in anyway.

I had an internet acquaintance I met in real life who I also promptly ended connection when I realized I didn’t know this person and ultimately saw that the values we held were not compatible with any kind of close connection.

My time and energy are precious and I was not ok with how he was directing his energy.

Were we friends? He thought so.

My answer is no. We weren’t.

Social media makes this very challenging too because I am so accessible and I let people view my life, but we aren’t “friends”.

I’m always teaching on social media.

Always.

Even when I respond in my inbox. I’m teaching.

Why?

A part of the teaching is letting people feel the frequency and permission in all the areas of my life.

I may be chatting with you but is it friendship?

Probably not.

It may be “friendly”.

But if it’s simply on social media alone it’s not friendship.

And if you think you are my friend ask yourself when the last time you asked me how I was without anything else?

When was the last time you asked me if I needed anything?

When is the last time you asked about my child, my health or my family?

Right.

I am sharing this because I think it’s a good inquiry for everyone .

Are your friends actually friends?

Or are they dysfunctional relationships based on history or drama?

Is it based in deep love and respect with equal holding?

Is it based in obligation?

Is it based in social status?

Is it based in getting something?

Is it based in nourishment?

I think there is enormous distortion around the concept of friendship and it’s one that I come back to over and over again.

What is TRUE friendship and who are my TRUE friends?

But I’ve also been in inquiry about whether I even value friendship. Yes. You heard me right. I’m not sure I value friendship.

Or the version of friendship that most people are capable of is probably more accurate.

I just closed a “friendship” with a woman who I’ve been “close” with for a number of years. And for me it came down to a couple of things.

She accused another woman who I also consider a friend of copying her.

I told her that was unfounded and reflected the Truth to her.

She then decided to send me a text message while I’m on vacation that she left a program she asked for for free, left the app and proceeded to block all the women in our community and create a lot of hurt and turmoil.

As opposed to waiting until next week to have a call and discuss it face to face.

She said this was out of respect and love and to preserve our relationship.

To create drama and dump her inability to hold herself while I’m on vacation. That’s love.

I don’t care if people don’t want to be in my space but if you love and care about me you would not create drama when I’m on fucking vacation after everything I’ve been through this year. That does not show me you love me or even see what is valuable to me.

Disrespect of my energy or the space I need to care for my woman is simply a dealbreaker for me.

As I sat with it I could not even remember the last time she texted or called to just see how I was doing or feeling.

But we took her and her husband out for dinner recently for her birthday.

We have always had good conversations and I’ve had a deep respect for her commitment to her process.

There is no doubt we have love for each other.

But are we friends?

It would seem not.

What is a “friend”? How do you define it?

It’s one of those words that is so codified it can mean so many things. In fact I bet the majority of people haven’t actually sat and thought about what it means to be a friend.

Is a friend someone you know for a long time?

Is it someone you talk bullshit with?

Is it someone you spend physical in person time with?

Is it someone who is always there for you?

The people I really consider my good friends are people who are able to hold themselves and we have a genuine mutual care for one another.

These are people who it’s a pleasure to be around and I feel nourished (not depleted) in their presence.

These are people who genuinely like all the Perri parts and understand that sometimes I just want to be a human being.

The people I consider friends are ride or die loyal and understand what I value and understand what I’m available for.

And vice versa.

These aren’t people who I necessarily talk to or socialize with all the time.

But I know who they are and they know who they are.

As a teacher who holds hundreds of people hands on and thousands of people energetically , friendships have become increasingly more difficult.

There has always been a challenge in the relationships where friend and teacher straddle and where people get confused what hat I have on. It highlights the unavoidable projection of the role. But also the one way holding.

And so more and more I just show up as a teacher so there is no confusion.

I would never deny anyone the gifts of my teaching or guidance so we could remain “friends” and so many times friendships get put to the side while I serve their journey.

It’s complicated and something I need to be constantly adjusting in real time with different people.

I put aside my woman and serve as a teacher.

What is clear to me is that my life revolves around my service and that Truth is more important to me than any friendship.

I could not stay in relationship with anyone where I felt I needed to abandon something deep in anyway.

I had an internet acquaintance I met in real life who I also promptly ended connection when I realized I didn’t know this person and ultimately saw that the values we held were not compatible with any kind of close connection.

My time and energy are precious and I was not ok with how he was directing his energy.

Were we friends? He thought so.

My answer is no. We weren’t.

Social media makes this very challenging too because I am so accessible and I let people view my life, but we aren’t “friends”.

I’m always teaching on social media.

Always.

Even when I respond in my inbox. I’m teaching.

Why?

A part of the teaching is letting people feel the frequency and permission in all the areas of my life.

I may be chatting with you but is it friendship?

Probably not.

It may be “friendly”.

But if it’s simply on social media alone it’s not friendship.

And if you think you are my friend ask yourself when the last time you asked me how I was without anything else?

When was the last time you asked me if I needed anything?

When is the last time you asked about my child, my health or my family?

Right.

I am sharing this because I think it’s a good inquiry for everyone .

Are your friends actually friends?

Or are they dysfunctional relationships based on history or drama?

Is it based in deep love and respect with equal holding?

Is it based in obligation?

Is it based in social status?

Is it based in getting something?

Is it based in nourishment?