Being adopted made me an orphan from my bloodline for most of my life. Growing up inside a false family tree that I always knew wasn’t really mine but for the purposes of my life it was. There was so long I wondered and yearned and on some level I felt so blessed not to […]

I pray for Truth. I don’t pray for a desired outcome I don’t pray for objects or material things. I pray for the sweeping blade of Truth. And for that which is not in my highest and best good to be removed from my life I get on my knees and I lay my head […]

I am deep in my alchemical practice at the moment. The mold and the CIRS which I’ve chosen to abandon as my central focus were an invitation to go in with laser sharp precision into the most unbearably painful locations. These are not mental stories. To the physical energy that got stuck and could not […]

I want to make a distinction in practice. The difference between going unconscious in a trigger, and consciously allowing your human to be wounded. What’s the difference? I’m in this inquiry because I just had a falling out with a friend who reacted in a deeply unconscious way and then covered it up with a […]

My life began with loss. It was literally the first thing I ever experienced. Deeply encoded. I can see the perfection that it’s a high level spiritual choice to come in this way if you want to practice the left hand path of loss and non-attachment, but the human part of us still has to […]

I think there is enormous distortion around the concept of friendship and it’s one that I come back to over and over again. What is TRUE friendship and who are my TRUE friends? But I’ve also been in inquiry about whether I even value friendship. Yes. You heard me right. I’m not sure I value […]

The Art of Mockery And it’s place and importance in my teaching… Mockery, like satire, is an important tool in the truth sayer’s toolkit. It’s a caricature. A purposeful exaggeration. There are many people who judge my use of this tool with a spiritually superior set of rules that say this is not kind. They […]

There is this particular moment when driving my car when I gun it and you can feel the turbo and the gear shifts and the whole thing just opens and takes off. I love it. It’s my favorite feeling. To fly. It’s not lost on me when I almost committed suicide as a teenager that […]

It’s been the one place for so long I had no sight I was flying blind And it led me to seek saviors who could save me from my body Now let’s not get confused here My body is what let’s me feel truth But when it came to topics the body itself I would […]

I had a hard day at the Four Seasons today folks 😝 But nah, for real. Let me tell you about why I love mastery. And @fourseasons is a master of the game of service. It’s the kind of attention where their masculine is so fine tuned to meet my every desire. But today I […]

My entire experience here in Hawaii has been nothing less than Majestic. A number of years ago, before I really started to deepen into my medicine, I had a psychedelic experience while I was purging for days. On the fourth night of this purge, I was visited in a vision by an Elemental Lava Rock […]

Right now I’m detoxing and creating immersive opportunities to sweat. If I go into these things without paying attention I will want to leave the experience right before I begin to sweat. I notice the pattern. The body heats. The discomfort builds. Right before my pores open and the sweat begins to pour, my mind […]