The perfection of the spiritual journey is such a funny thing that at a certain point you see that it’s a masterpiece.

But it’s not only hard, it’s impossible to see when you are in it.

The thing about normal CULTural living is you think that it’s normal.

Healthy. Not harmful in the slightest.

You go through your life.

Tick your boxes.

Have human experiences.

Die.

And surely you did ok.

You listen to the newsman and the government agencies who all have your best interest at heart.

You use Dr Google for all your physical and psychological problems and think for sure you have the best available information.

You made some money, found a mate, found some happiness and kids.

Enjoyed some wine and a vacation a couple of times a year.

So. Happy. Definitely.

You lose yourself and abandon yourself and this is just normal.

And more than that you make yourself bad and wrong for having trouble with normal.

And when we are not telling ourselves that these things that are normal, we wonder what we are missing?

Can this actually be it?

Back in 2007 I had moved to Hong Kong and I had a big job there with the company that I worked for and I got this really nice apartment and I started a new life.

And it was Ground. Hogs. Day.

I was successful.

I had men.

I had money.

And I was like “is this my fucking life”

I could see absolutely no way out of this.

But there was a magnet on my refrigerator.

And it said “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”

I wasn’t spiritual back that.

But that fucking magnet was whispering to my soul “do not give up. This isn’t it.”

That girl. Oh man. I wish I could hug her.

Because she could not fathom what life could be like today.

How much joy, and love and expression and creation.

She was just trying to get by.

Ticking all the boxes.

Surviving.

Trying to do it right.

She would never believe where this path has led.

Never.

Ever.

My life has been destroyed so many times.

By me.

No one else destroys our life.

Only we can do that.

And every time it’s for an important lesson.

I’ve destroyed things that were True that I saw through a distorted lens .

Because it’s easy to destroy everything.

What’s hard is staying connected while you sort through the pile.

I’ve had to learn to do it the hard way and I honestly prefer it.

Truth by truth by truth.

Nothing gets disconnected when we meet Truth in the moment and take full responsibility where disconnection happens.

I was totally alone in a full unravel for 2 years.

It was dark.

And I thought about killing myself every day for a while at the bottom.

I came undone.

And when we have nothing left to prop ourselves up or distract us from what’s inside of us, it all comes out.

Physically.

Mentally.

Emotionally.

Spiritually.

I thought I was going insane.

I woke up crying everyday for months.

There was no one to help me, support me, or even hug me.

I was ALONE

See when I destroyed my life, I didn’t have the convenience of blaming anyone.

Who would I blame?

The spiritual teacher who woke me up?

Would I blame him for the decisions I made?

It didn’t even occur to me to do that.

And it would have been a massive disservice to my journey if I had because owning these choice points is the essence of the journey.

I think that girl would love to be in my community now.

I think she would have loved a fucking map of the underworld.

And for someone to see her and say it’s ok.

For someone to remind her that it’s not the end but just the beginning.

For her to know that she is deeply loved in all the undoing and there was no doing it wrong.

People used to look at me and think I literally destroyed myself because I met a “cult leader” in Bali.

Because that is the only logical thing a NORMAL person could see.

I was born from the ashes of a massive act of destruction.

And it is the direct connection to who I am today.

The spiritual journey doesn’t make sense.

It’s upside down and not normal in anyway.

Trying to make sense of a spiritual journey through the lens of CULTure Normal will lead you entrapment in the mind.

So much or my journey as a teacher has been bringing to light In togetherness what most people suffer with alone in the dark.

To create a place to practice to see that our stories are not so special and they are widely shared.

To share the location of the cosmic GPS.

And I’ll always lead breadcrumbs for those in the dark if they need help finding their way out.

The perfection of the spiritual journey is such a funny thing that at a certain point you see that it’s a masterpiece.

But it’s not only hard, it’s impossible to see when you are in it.

The thing about normal CULTural living is you think that it’s normal.

Healthy. Not harmful in the slightest.

You go through your life.

Tick your boxes.

Have human experiences.

Die.

And surely you did ok.

You listen to the newsman and the government agencies who all have your best interest at heart.

You use Dr Google for all your physical and psychological problems and think for sure you have the best available information.

You made some money, found a mate, found some happiness and kids.

Enjoyed some wine and a vacation a couple of times a year.

So. Happy. Definitely.

You lose yourself and abandon yourself and this is just normal.

And more than that you make yourself bad and wrong for having trouble with normal.

And when we are not telling ourselves that these things that are normal, we wonder what we are missing?

Can this actually be it?

Back in 2007 I had moved to Hong Kong and I had a big job there with the company that I worked for and I got this really nice apartment and I started a new life.

And it was Ground. Hogs. Day.

I was successful.

I had men.

I had money.

And I was like “is this my fucking life”

I could see absolutely no way out of this.

But there was a magnet on my refrigerator.

And it said “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”

I wasn’t spiritual back that.

But that fucking magnet was whispering to my soul “do not give up. This isn’t it.”

That girl. Oh man. I wish I could hug her.

Because she could not fathom what life could be like today.

How much joy, and love and expression and creation.

She was just trying to get by.

Ticking all the boxes.

Surviving.

Trying to do it right.

She would never believe where this path has led.

Never.

Ever.

My life has been destroyed so many times.

By me.

No one else destroys our life.

Only we can do that.

And every time it’s for an important lesson.

I’ve destroyed things that were True that I saw through a distorted lens .

Because it’s easy to destroy everything.

What’s hard is staying connected while you sort through the pile.

I’ve had to learn to do it the hard way and I honestly prefer it.

Truth by truth by truth.

Nothing gets disconnected when we meet Truth in the moment and take full responsibility where disconnection happens.

I was totally alone in a full unravel for 2 years.

It was dark.

And I thought about killing myself every day for a while at the bottom.

I came undone.

And when we have nothing left to prop ourselves up or distract us from what’s inside of us, it all comes out.

Physically.

Mentally.

Emotionally.

Spiritually.

I thought I was going insane.

I woke up crying everyday for months.

There was no one to help me, support me, or even hug me.

I was ALONE

See when I destroyed my life, I didn’t have the convenience of blaming anyone.

Who would I blame?

The spiritual teacher who woke me up?

Would I blame him for the decisions I made?

It didn’t even occur to me to do that.

And it would have been a massive disservice to my journey if I had because owning these choice points is the essence of the journey.

I think that girl would love to be in my community now.

I think she would have loved a fucking map of the underworld.

And for someone to see her and say it’s ok.

For someone to remind her that it’s not the end but just the beginning.

For her to know that she is deeply loved in all the undoing and there was no doing it wrong.

People used to look at me and think I literally destroyed myself because I met a “cult leader” in Bali.

Because that is the only logical thing a NORMAL person could see.

I was born from the ashes of a massive act of destruction.

And it is the direct connection to who I am today.

The spiritual journey doesn’t make sense.

It’s upside down and not normal in anyway.

Trying to make sense of a spiritual journey through the lens of CULTure Normal will lead you entrapment in the mind.

So much or my journey as a teacher has been bringing to light In togetherness what most people suffer with alone in the dark.

To create a place to practice to see that our stories are not so special and they are widely shared.

To share the location of the cosmic GPS.

And I’ll always lead breadcrumbs for those in the dark if they need help finding their way out.